Tension of the Opposites

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound by something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted when you know you should never take anything for granted”

“A tension of the opposites, like a pull on a rubber band and most of us live somewhere in the middle”

“Like a wrestling match”

“Which side wins?”

“Love wins. Love always wins”

One of my favourites from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Tension of the opposites – experiencing this exact feeling and consciously making a choice guided by Morrie’s wise words has by far been the highlight of my week. Here is the how and the why!

It’s Tuesday night. It’s 7:00 PM. I started packing my little boy’s bag with his toys, some finger food, and of course all the baby essentials, gave him dinner, got him ready and finally got ready to leave for the first “desi dinner”. A gathering organised by the Indian community at INSEAD at the only other Indian restaurant in Fonty called Raj Mahal.

“Tension of the opposites” strikes the very first time that evening– It’s 8:00 PM. A part of me wants to stay back because I know my little boy will probably not enjoy being out this late. But a part of me wants to go and meet new people. Something I’ve always enjoyed. I convince myself that given all the preparations I’d made to keep my little boy comfortable and occupied, he should be ok till about 9:00 PM. And the plan was for me to make my way back home then. So with that, the three of us leave.

The restaurant is about a 10 minutes’ walk from home. When we arrived, it was rather quiet. A small gathering of about 7-8 people. But soon it started getting really crowded. And of course, like in any large gathering, people tend to get a bit loud. “Tension of the opposites” strikes again. Given the noise and the look on my boy’s face, I wanted to leave but I’d hardly spoken to anyone yet. Well, not more than an introductory greeting. So, I think to myself, may be I should stay a bit longer, distract my little one with all the toys and finger foods I’d packed, talk to a few more people, eat and then leave.

Wrong decision.

In less than half hour since that moment, my little one gets totally exhausted and bursts into tears. Totally heart breaking.

Similar situation, though we weren’t out very late, struck again when I attended a BBQ that Friday. Crowd. Loud voices. Strange faces. Perfect recipe to put my boy completely out of his zone.

On both occasions I got back home sooner than expected (so glad I did).

So that week was that of a lot of reflection and introspection. And I did something I have been doing ever so often since I arrived when I go through such contradictory thoughts in my mind – I went straight to my recent favourite book and straight to the part about the “Tension of the opposites”.

So what did I learn from it all – the two experiences, the process of reflection and introspection?  I realized that I can find ways to still socialize and meet people however would never do it at the cost of my little one. He needs all the love and care as he is figuring out this world and it’s my prerogative to be there for him with all that love and care, in fact even more than what he needs.

Because - “Love wins, Love always wins” – How simple, yet how easily forgotten when one is caught in the middle of it all.